Saturday, August 18, 2012

Meet the Staff of the Daily Brass

This year, in lieu of raises, the management of the Daily Brass has agreed to post a brief bio of each staff member, thus acknowledging their existence and introducing them to their audience.  The views of the staff do not in any way represent the views of the Daily Brass, which is against pretty much everything.
Purvis McGrew (Open Letters) - Purvis is our entertainment editor.   He earned his degree in Entertainment News from Leeza Gibbons University in Stockdale, MD and is a former writer for the periodical Celebrity Stalker.  A childhood affliction of worms inspired him to write an episode of the animated children’s series, Pound Puppies which never aired.  According to Purvis, the episode was scratched for political reasons.  “They said my piece wasn’t ‘kid friendly’ just because, in one scene, the pound puppies mauled a kid.”  He is the author of the novel, Meet the Tootersons and contributed to Christamar Varicella’s novel Dinosaur Ghost.  Someday he hopes to work for TMZ.  In his spare time, he enjoys rooting through dumpsters looking for discarded pornography.  He lives in a barn.

Alfred “Stinky” Butterman (Fake Book Reviews) - Some people think Al was the inspiration for Dean Moriarty in Jack Kerouac’s classic On the Road.  These people are grossly misinformed.  He was, however, the inspiration for the character Zipperhead in Purvis McGrew’s debut novel, Meet the Tootersons and also  for Willy in Christamar Varicella’s classic novel-in-progress The Zombie Bocephus.  A former member of the Marine Corps Show Choir (the only member who wasn’t a Marine), Al is a staunch conservative who has recently clashed publicly with Daily Brass lead book reviewer Sally Putterman over Mitt Romney’s autobiography, This Land is My Land: The Mitt Romney Story.  Al wishes it known that he is, in fact, right, while Ms. Putterman is wrong.

Sally Putterman (Fake Book Reviews) - Sally is a former adjunct professor of botany at the University of Missouri Online, Wildlife Division.  She is one of the world’s twelve leading experts on the subject of tree bark as rated by the periodical, Bark! and she is the nineteenth leading expert on the subject of beans.  Her recent article in the industry-leading legume-related interview magazine Spill the Beans won the coveted Golden Garbanzo Award, sponsored by the Midwest Legume Society.  An avowed political liberal, she recently made news with her public spat with fellow fake book reviewer Al “Stinky” Butterman over Mitt Romney’s autobiography, This Land is My Land: The Mitt Romney Story.  In response to Al’s most recent comment  featured in this bio section, Ms. Putterman responded, “Al said that?  Well, he can go suck it!”  She once spent several weeks living in a chicken coop.

Christamar Varicella (Editor-in-Chief, Fiction Editor) - Christamar Varicella is the author of several novels including The Oiliest Secret and Dinosaur Ghost.  He is currently working on The Zombie Bocephus.  He tends to write several novels simultaneously, which inevitably causes characters and plotlines to intersect and/or appear in the wrong novel.  A bit of a misanthrope, who summarily rejects applicants to his fan club, Christamar believes it is an author’s duty to confuse and antagonize his readers, which might explain why he has very few readers.    

Christamar’s posts:

The Oiliest Secret

Dinosaur Ghost
Origin Chapter 1 Chapter 2 Chapter 3 Chapter 4 Chapter 5 Chapter 6 Chapter 7 Review: Dinosaur Ghost

The Zombie Bocephus



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