Dear People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals,
I’ve been thinking about killing my fish. I feel compelled to justify myself, although I know you won’t approve no matter what my reasons are, and in truth, my reasons aren’t very good. I’m just tired of taking care of it. Every.. single.. day I have to drop a few paper specks of whatever the hell fish food is into a stinking tank filled with green algae and floating fecal matter. I suppose I could try and get rid of the stinking green algae and floating fecal matter, but why? Why should I have to clean the tank every... single... month or two? Just so the tank won’t stink and be gross? That’s not a reason, that’s like a Catch 22 or something.