Dear General MacArthur,
Let this letter serve as my application for some of that genius money you guys like to hand out. My accomplishments include pioneering research in the area of what happens to boogers when you flick them across the room or scrape them on the underside of chairs, and the subsequent creation of the Worldwide Booger Depository System. Thanks to me, anyone can request, for a nominal charge, a BDR (Booger Depository Receptacle) that can be placed under tables and chairs and end the scourge of suddenly discovering that you just put your hand in yours or someone else’s boogers. Just log in to www.boogerbags.com to order yours today.