An Open Letter to the Sprout Network

 Dear Head of Programming,

I apologize for the public forum in which I now write to you, but as I have received only a few cursory replies to my inquiries and résumés, I feel I have no other choice.  As my initial suggestions seem to have fallen on deaf ears, I am taking this opportunity to elucidate a three-pronged strategy to save your network.  I only hope that the public rallies behind my ideas and pressures the corporate power structure to adopt these much-needed changes.

Top Ten Movies of 2013

It’s that time of year again: the time when random people tell you what movies they liked from the previous year.  And while generally these lists only provide you with information about who spends too much time watching movies, I feel as if I can offer a unique perspective unlike any you are likely to find anywhere else.  So here they are, Folks, listed in order of how many hands the movie would cause me to wave in the air if I had enough hands to do so.

10) The Hunger Games: Catching Fire - I thought this was going to be a movie about spontaneous combustion.  I kept expecting people to burst into flames in every scene.  This caused me a great deal of anxiety, or would have if I’d actually seen it.

Two Dreams

This morning I came across an old journal entry from December 26th, 2010 in which I shared with myself two dreams from the night before.  Having reread the entries I now realize how imperative it is that I share these dreams (one is more of a vision) with the world.

1) I dreamed that President Obama appointed Andy Griffith Attorney General.