Sure, logic and intuition tells us that all those squished raccoons and possums and things we see by the side of the road were simple auto accidents, but isn’t it possible that other, funnier, reasons exist for the untimely demise of all those cute little critters? I for one think so, and here are a few possibilities:
It’s happened to all of us. We’re running late for work or church or something, flying down the highway with reckless abandon, when suddenly a cute little squirrel ventures out into the road. It stops, whiskers twitching as if contemplating our rapid approach. We prepare to brake, screaming, “Look out, little squirrel. Run! Save yourself!” Or perhaps a more direct, “Get the f*** out of the road!” In any event, the cute little guy turns around scampers a few feet toward safety, and then, just as we start to breathe a sigh of relief, he turns around again and launches himself under our front tire.