Monday, March 31, 2014

Sunday, March 23, 2014

Alternate History

You know what I noticed about the Salem Witch Trials?  A little common sense could have prevented those things from going too far, I think.  Like when the accused were on the stand making confused hand gestures and saying things like,  “What?  Me?  A witch? No way,” and then the accusers started screaming and moving in whatever direction the accused person was gesturing and acting like their bodies were being controlled like a puppet on a string, how come the judge didn’t just make the accusers turn around or something, so they couldn’t see the accused?  They wouldn’t have known when to scream or in what direction to contort!  It would have totally thrown them off!

Sunday, March 16, 2014

The Best Thing About Sports: Manship!

by Al Butterman

There was only one clear winner of last night's big game between the Whozits and the Other Guys, but there was also another clear winner: Sportsmanship.  

Saturday, March 8, 2014

Highway Sanitation Debate (A Sketch)

by Christamar Varicella

CAST: MODERATOR, LARRY, ENOS

INT. TOWN HALL.  MODERATOR SITS BETWEEN TWO CANDIDATES STANDING AT LECTERNS.  THE MODERATOR AND ONE OF THE CANDIDATES ARE DRESSED PROFESSIONALLY.  THE OTHER CANDIDATE IS SCRUFFY, HAS A LONG BEARD, AND IS DRESSED LIKE A HOMELESS PERSON.

MODERATOR

Welcome to tonight’s pre-election debate.  First to make his opening remarks is Larry Delefonte.  Larry is 28, a graduate of Cornell University.  Mr. Delefonte, you may proceed.


LARRY

Fellow citizens, tonight I ask you to cast your vote for me this election day, and I promise to be the best guy who picks dead animals off the road that this county has ever seen.  Our community shouldn’t have to suffer the burden of dead animal stink.  If I’m elected, it won’t have to.