Sunday, July 20, 2014

An Open Letter to FOX NEWS

You’re looking foxy today.  Not like some other “news” sources I could name.  I put quotation marks around “news” because, let’s face it, reporting on “Dinosaur Ghosts” is not really “news.”  But it is according to CNN!  Those guys/gals are totally about to scoop you on the existence of Dinosaur Ghosts!

And if you think that’s frightening (It is!), it gets worse.  (Oh no!)

The Dinosaur Ghosts are totally freakin’ liberal!  According to my sources, they are TARGETING REPUBLICANS worse than the IRS!  They are TARGETING REPUBLICANS not for the content of their character but for the immorality of their policy positions.  And I for one aren’t gonna take it anymore! 
You guys need to get on this story like pronto (or sooner!)

Don’t sit idly by while the liberal media is TARGETING REPUBLICANS.  Honest god-fearin’ Americans need you to report the facts now!  Because if you think the IRS is scary (Boy howdy!) just wait until you see what the dinosaur ghosts are doing.  We need to scare people into understanding the truth about these liberal dinosaur ghosts who are TARGETING REPUBLICANS. 

Now let’s get scarin’!

Your friend,

And fellow conservative!

Christamar Varicella

To learn more about how the liberal media is TARGETING REPUBLICANS click the following links: An Open Letter to Thomas Pynchon,  An Open Letter to Cormac McCarthyAn Open Letter to Jonathan Franzen, An Open Letter to CNN, and/or An Open Letter to MSNBC